What about the Horses?

B. and I had a good conversation with my baby sister the other night.  I never really called her my "baby" sister when we were growing up, but I've lately adopted the title to nurture my newfound sense of denial.

She's growing up.

It was hard enough to come home after 2 years abroad to find that the tan ten-year-old tomboy I left was now wearing makeup and oggling Daniel Radcliffe.  Now she's passed through the gauntlet of high school freshman year.  And it's just...

Weird.

We talked about, like, mature things.  Not gross stuff, just things that were pretty deep for a high school sophomore.  She was able to understand and expound on concepts and subjects that would stump many people I know in college.  I guess I shouldn't be so surprised, she's different; she's always been a bit above the general backbiting and drama characteristic of her female peers (which I and my bros take full credit for)  Girls are dramatic, all the time around boys mellowed her out.

She's the one sister.  One girl to five boys, poor thing was born to be outnumbered.


This isn't the first time I've had to shift from seeing my siblings as younger underlings in desperate need of knowledge and noogies to intellectual peers.  Well, peers is a generous term.  The two brothers between sis and I dwarf my intelligence easily.  They take AP classes like it's cake, they watch Kahn Academy youtube videos to keep up on calculus.  They have the minds of engineers; even music is more mechanical and architectural to them than it is expressive or emotional. 

Now, just in case you think I'm related to absolute geniuses who spend their free time splicing genes and curing cancer, let me be clear.  They're smart, they're older, we can talk about deeper, more mature subjects.  But one beatboxes incessantly, quotes Nacho Libre, and spurts random AC/DC lyrics without provocation.  The other is an obsessive gamer and, I'm ashamed to say, a Brony.  Both giggle through episodes of Adventure Time like four-year-olds.  I know this because my four-year-old brother giggles with them.

I remember avoiding including the brother closest to my age in any event or gathering with my high school friends.  I was "too cool."  I couldn't have my home life and my social life mixing (see "Keep Your Friends Close").  My parents forced me to take him, and I was surprised to find he fit in really well.  It was fun having him around (not that I'd ever tell the punk).  Sure he cramped my style around my girlfriend, but no more than my bros who weren't related to me did.

He was becoming less a little brother and more of a... friend.  Weird.  We had been sworn enemies since he was about three and now here we were with our separate social circles, getting along.

My brothers and I really became friends in the nebulous year between when I graduated high school and when I left for Europe.  When Dark Knight came out, I went with my bros.  We started hanging out, replaying old N64 games and just spending time together.  Even in middle school and high school, I would take my siblings out for ice cream, to a movie, whatever struck our fancy.  Little one-on-one outings, just to get to know them in a setting outside of home.

Baby sis was probably the most frequent guest on these impromptu outings.  My "sister dates" usually involved just walking over to the Base theater, getting her some candy and seeing whatever latest Abigail Breslin movie came out.  We'd talk on the way over, she'd confide in me all the drama of being ten, mean teachers, tough homework, swimming lessons, an occasional mention of a boy that would put my hair on end.

I was waiting for her horse phase.  Isn't that how it works?  Girls move from Dora the Explorer to Hello Kitty to Hannah Montana to Horses to Boy Bands.  I still had the horses before boys became an issue, right?  Nope.  She went straight to One Direction.  ... No comment.  

I've been gone for most of her adolescence, so it's been strange to see how much she's changed each time we meet or talk.  She's crazy smart and driven, she's enjoying a biomedical program at her school, she's dabbling in ceramics and painting.  She (along with B.) drools over Man of Steel's steely bod.  All the jokes that once flew over head, she gets now.

She's growing up.  But she's also growing well.  She's kind and wise beyond her years.  She respects her parents, she's patient with her little brothers (as much as can be expected).  I'm sad to lose the tan ten-year-old, but this young woman, this friend of mine is an exciting new discovery.


My family is changing, our home is becoming less juvenile, and after so many years with someone always in diapers, I think we're all excited to be done with the Nick Jr. phase.  Not long ago my brother, always the clown, came across this hilarious song, and had the courage to share it with my parents, lords of all things G-rated.  They laughed and loved it, as did we older kids.I think they're excited to have older kids, intellectual peers with whom they can have real, unedited conversations.

Baby sis is growing up.  But so are the rest of us. 


How are you growing?  What do you get to enjoy as an older kid?



S