Hey Again Kiddo

I haven't forgotten about you. 

It's already been a whole year!  You're not in our family yet, but this past year I haven't forgotten the first letter I wrote to you.  You're the reason I started up this little collection of memories. 

There's going to come a time when you're almost grown and you'll want help. When I graduated high school I had a lot of important decisions to make that seemed just too big for me to make.  I wanted guidance.  I wanted help.  I wanted more than a parent.  I wanted to go back and meet my dad when he was my age.

I'll never be your age.  Sorry.  I'll be your daddy, your dad, your old man, and even that guy who "just doesn't get it."  But there will always be these years between us.

I started this little box of memories a year ago.  It has since blossomed into many things: a timeline for the milestones B. and I reach, an outlet for our fears and frustrations, an exploration and exercise in writing.  But above all, this is youth.  Our youth.  Our days of uncertainty and excitement.  You'll never see us as the kids we are now.  God willing we'll be a little better prepared when you come to us.

But when you come, we'll be what you need.  We'll love you, protect you, teach you, discipline you, mold you into an amazing person, and then stand back in awe as you surpass our wildest hopes.  You'll grow before us, you'll make leaps forward and stumble backwards at times.  We'll catch you when you fall and cheer you as your race on.  We'll try to offer advice as you face the perils of life, but I know there will be times when you'll want guidance from someone less crotchety.

So in an attempt to relate to the future you, present-us have some pointers for living fully.

Stretch yourself.  Surround yourself with people who challenge you to grow and improve.  Never submit to complacency.  The moment you start to feel like a face in the crowd, drop your crowd.  I chose who to fall in love with because she is so different from me.  I will never be comfortable.  I will never be bored.  I will never stop growing because of who I chose to spend forever with.

Love fiercely.  B. has caught me staring at her countless times.  I love with the subtlety of a sledgehammer.  I learned to do so from watching the way my father treated my mother.  Make your attention obvious.  When you are with your friend, be there.  When the love of your life walks in the room, light up!  People will notice, including the most important person.

Have the courage of your convictions.  You will come across people who mock and deride and scoff at what you believe in your heart of hearts to be true.  It will hurt the most when that derision comes from those closest to you.  Those who should be your friends and defend you will not always come to your aid; some of them might join or even lead the onslaught.  Don't give in.  You are better than surrender. 

Work well.  No matter what you have to do, earn a good living.  The work might seem beneath you.  We've been there.  Both of us.  I've had my fair share of bad jobs.  B. has worked in agonizingly unjust conditions, and has always excelled at what she does.  You might feel as if you've done your time, you deserve better than your circumstances.  You're probably right.  So prove it.  Prove you're better by sticking to it and trudging through the slop.  Greatness never cuts corners.

Have heroes, not idols.  There are and have always been great men and women whose stories inspire and delight.  However, no one is perfect.  Pretending that the people you respect are flawless is a fool's errand.  The people we look up to let us down in one way or another.  Separate the art from the artist, the cause from the leader.  Don't let their shortcomings destroy the dream they began for you.  Take the good parts of their legacy and move forward, adding your own contribution to something greater than you or your heroes.

The world is awesome.  It's hard to see beyond your own problems sometimes, but I guarantee you'll outgrow the chains that try to hold you down. There is a world out there that you can't begin to grasp fully.  I'm always impressed by B.'s knack for finding the extraordinary and clinging to it.  Exotic friends and amazing memories are drawn to her.  I never fathomed the wonders of the world she has introduced to me.  You aren't allowed to be bored.  Ever.

Another year has passed and you're not with us.  We're not ready for you yet.  We still have much to do before we are.  But we love you.  We've never met you but we feel like we've always missed you.  Until next year.

Love,


S. & B.