...Get it?

Here's a tip:

If you have to use "get it?" as an addendum to a joke, it's not funny.

I was washing my hands in the bathroom at work when an older man tried to use humor with another guy a few sinks down.

"Oh, this must be another slight against the dance department," he smirked to the poor kid soaping up at the sink.

The kid turned with a quizzical look to see what on earth this man was talking about.  I saw through the mirror as he indicated a sign placed on the wall above the urinals:

"To avoid clogging PLEASE do not flush paper towels."

Get it?   

clogging.

Like dancing.  In wooden shoes.


...Ha.


You feel awkward reading it?  I promise you, it was much worse hearing it out loud.  Oi.

This poor kid at the sink caught on before I did.  Feigning appreciation, he did his best to force a smile and resist rolling his eyes at such lame humor before drying his hands and leaving.

Now, my father has been known to insert a lame pun or two in conversation, to which we would all reply with our false, obligatory laughter.  It's a compulsion for him, and I slip into it occasionally as well.  I think it's a rite of passage when you abandon bachelorhood for marriage and family.

Personally I look forward to that day when I can roll up in the family SUV or minivan to pick up my embarrassed, insecure teens and tweens, put my blinkers on, pop open the car door and usher them into the vehicle as NSYNC and Backstreet Boys blasts from the speakers (which will be even less cool then than it is now).  I yearn for the day I can stand there in all my glory: my stained khaki shorts, baggy multi-colored hawaiian shirt so obviously pilfered off of a rack at goodwill in 1983, black dress socks and plastic sandals covering my pasty yet hairy legs.

Having that dad sucks.

But being that "lame" dad is going to ROCK.

Now, I realize there are readers out there who think their dad is nothing compared to the propensity for humiliation possessed by their mother.  I don't mean to single out dads as the only embarrassing parent; I'm just personally looking forward to becoming that cruel, unforgiving stereotype.  Once you're married, you only have one person to impress, and your kids' reputation is usually expendable.

Mwahaha.



Do you have a tendency for lame puns?  What do you do that embarrasses your loved ones?  Do you relish it as I plan to?



S